First, a disclaimer: this page is not about you! Even if we've been working together for years, there will always be something I don't know about you - many things, actually. You are a human being, which means you have an uncertain "event horizon," to borrow a term from high school physics. No one knows - not even you yourself -- where you stop and the rest of the universe begins. You will always surprise me, as you will everyone else in your life, even if we know each other for decades.
Having said that, you may sometimes identify with one or more of these situations:
- You are in a relationship with someone, and feel you want more. More intimacy, more sex, more conversation, more emotional connection, more - you name it. You love your partner, but you feel you want - or even ache to have - more.
- You aren't in a romantic relationship, and you feel lonesome. You don't understand why it's so hard to find someone new. You sometimes feel like an outsider at parties and gatherings. You want to make sense of your situation, and find your way into a new relationship with someone.
- You have dreams - or you remember having them - about your career, and you feel frustrated in your job. You feel trapped, as if you can't leave without causing serious upheaval in your life. But you can't stay, because the trapped feeling is so painful. You want the freedom to imagine and enact a new adventure in your career.
- People don't understand who you really are. You are more mature than they give you credit for. And maybe you're worried about some things. You certainly feel frustrated at times, and maybe even depressed. You want to talk to someone who respects you, and respects your privacy.
- You might have people in your life who think you have a drinking problem, or a drug problem. You think they might be a little bit right about that, but you're not so sure ... or yes, you're sure they're right, but you want the freedom to explore the issues without feeling judged, and without having to make huge changes in your life just yet.
- Though you may have hope for the future, today your heart feels broken. You are tasting bitter grief, because someone you love has died, or left you. Or because you are finding yourself in a new home, a new city, a new job, a new situation. You may feel pressure to "get over it," and that is frustrating, irritating. That attitude just makes you feel more misunderstood and alone. You wonder when you will feel happy again. You are waiting, watching, like a small candle burning in the night.
- You just want to talk, OK?! You don't know what's wrong with you, if anything. You just need to vent for a while, and get some things off your chest. You want an intelligent person to sit there and just listen, just take it in, and maybe make some suggestions if he wants to, but maybe not too many! You have a story to tell. That's it.