It has already been more than a week since my operation but I have learned that it takes a while to recover from surgery. I noticed that whenever I sit down, I feel very tired, and if I relax on a bed or sofa, I almost immediately fall asleep. This isn’t like me! I usually have tons of energy and sleep only five or six hours a night, and that’s on a good night. These days, eight hours is not enough. My recent surgery continues to teach me lessons about human frailty, and the need for good rest. I went for a little walk two days after the operation, and in doing so I gained first-hand experience at being just a little bit handicapped: I found myself worrying that the walk light would change before I made it to the other side of the street - that’s never happened to me before. But this is good! It gives me a small taste of what it’s like to be physically disadvantaged, or what it’s like not to be as young as you used to be. In that way, it makes me a better therapist: any setback or challenge will educate someone whose profession is helping people face setbacks and challenges. So… it’s a blessing, this physical adventure of mine. Though I hope to feel 100% as soon as I can, I am grateful for the experience, and hope to learn as much as I can from it. Again, take good care of yourself! Your health is more fragile than you know.

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I was first introduced to Jane Kenyon’s poetry by a good friend of mine, and I read Ms. Kenyon’s work again when reading Elizabeth Edwards’s memoir. I recommend her poetry, particularly the poem “Otherwise.” Jane Kenyon died of cancer, and her poems written during her illness reveal how she found beauty and meaning in the midst of suffering.

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I had to close my practice for a few days this past week after going to the doctor and finding out that I was suffering acute appendicitis. First time for everything! I’m doing fine and looking forward to seeing clients this coming week, right on schedule. This experience gave me a new appreciation for those I know, both clients and friends, who have experienced surgeries far more serious and painful than mine. Even my small procedure was something of an ordeal, and it certainly caused considerable upheaval in my daily life. My little appendectomy was another reminder of how fragile and precious physical health is for all of us. It also gave me renewed respect (and maybe a little bit of awe) for surgeons, nurses, and other healthcare workers. Take good care of yourself!

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Every once in a while I’ll hear from someone who is concerned about someone in their life–their partner or spouse, their son or daughter, their friend–and says, “They will never come in and talk to you. Can I?” Yes–yes, I’d love to talk to you. I’m trained as a systems therapist, which means I’m trained to work with anyone in a couple, family, group, or larger system (such as a workplace). The “problem person” does not have to be the one who meets with me. (And you may find that the so-called “problem person” is no more responsible for the problem than anyone else.) Psychotherapy is not about a “sick” person getting “help.” It’s about anyone who wants to talk to a trained professional who can help them change something in their life, or improve something, or be more effective at something, or make better sense of something, or…well, you get the idea. So let’s get together and talk it over!

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I’m currently reading the book, “Saving Graces: Finding Solace and Strength from Friends and Strangers,” by Elizabeth Edwards. This is a good book for those who want to hear another person’s story about unbelievable grief (Edwards’s son Wade was killed in an automobile accident in 1996) and how she and her family found their way through the darkest time of their life. Writing about her daughter Cate, Edwards wonders what it must have been like for Cate to have a mother in 1996 “who seemed to be made of ashes.” It’s also a good book for those who are living with cancer, whether it’s their own diagnosis or one of their friends or family members battling the disease. Edwards writes well and candidly about her struggles, and how she makes sense of such challenging personal crises. Recommended!

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Happy Labor Day! I love this holiday because the gift of labor is something that everyone–everyone–is able to give, and it is one of the most valuable gifts for humanity and the world. Even those who are unable to “work” in the traditional sense are able to give of their time, treasure, intellect, inspiration, or physical labor in the service of others. On this Labor Day I invited friends to my new office and had it blessed. As part of the blessing, these words were said: “Bless this place of counsel that it may be a place of revealing the hidden, giving clarity to confusion, and bringing wholeness to those who seek it.” All the best to you on this day of laborers, a day in which we celebrate the work we do in our communities and around the world.

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