I recently posted on the MBTI, a personality-type indicator that helps people understand their preferred way of living, making decisions, perceiving the world, and getting energized. I wasn’t sure what to make of the fact that when I took the MBTI last month, I tested as an extravert for the first time. I wasn’t sure I was truly an “ENTJ.” That is, I wasn’t sure until I got to know more about the dark side of the ENTJ. (Wow, I really see myself in it!)

“Dark side” is probably not a term the MBTI folks want me to use when describing what they call the “fourth function” in personality types. But since MBTI is based on Jungian theory, and since Jung himself had a lot to say about the shadow archetype, I’ll blur the lines a bit and use the phrase “dark side” to describe what happens when all of us are under stress and find ourselves “in the grip” of our stressed-out personalities.

I’ll use my type as an example. ENTJ’s, when we’re under stress and, well, just not having a good day, will get “in the grip” of our type and get into what’s called “introverted feeling.” What’s that? Well, let’s start with what we’re like on a good day. On a good day, we’re using our dominant function–our preferred way of entering the world, you could say–and that dominant function is “extraverted thinking.” But as good as we are at thinking and using our thinking preference in our relationships with others, one blind spot we have is getting a good read on our own feelings, particularly when we’re under stress. So I’ll be sitting in a meeting, say, and I’m feeling emotional and self-pitying about something someone said or did, or (more often) I’m getting impatient and irritated, but I’m not doing anything about it. I’m just “introverting” it. Last week, when I was in a work group learning about organizational dynamics, the group facilitator said to me, “When I was facilitating, I knew you weren’t happy with how it was going, but you didn’t say anything. You didn’t tell me what your problem was!” She was right, I’m sorry to say. I was “in the grip.”

You can read more here about how to notice when you’re “in the grip,” and how to use your “fourth function” in healthier ways. For me, it involves meditation and simply listening to myself, listening to what’s going on inside. And then I need to re-engage with others, but this time in a healthier way. Like you, I’m still working on it, and probably always will be!

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