What an odd question. When I think back on ten years of counseling, I have to say that I could count the number of times I’ve asked this question on one hand. OK, maybe two. But it’s not necessarily a good question.
Once in a while, it makes perfect sense to ask this question. A person feels down, sad, despondent, and when she is asked this question, she actually brightens. Yes! she thinks to herself. That’s it. Once in a while, having a name for how you feel is important.
But most times it’s a lot more complicated. Even if you meet the criteria for by-the-book depression, I might not ask you this question because I have a ton of other questions for you, questions about what’s been going on in your life that has been hard, or sad, or frustrating. Even if you have what people in my field call “clinical depression,” the kind that might be relieved with medication, the kind that could possibly be dangerous, even then, you are a complicated person with all kinds of things going on in your life that are not upsetting because you have a depression problem. They’re just upsetting. Some of the most profoundly depressed people I’ve met are also sane, rational persons who are responding to grievous problems in a natural, understandable way.
So if you feel sad, or blue, or bored, or just blah, let’s talk about why that is, because I’ll bet you have some really good reasons for feeling that way.
(And I have some possible solutions!)
