Some traditions call this the Day of the Dead. In my tradition, it’s All Souls’ Day, a day to remember all who have died. Some say that on this day the space separating the living and the dead is thinner. Whatever a person thinks about life and death, this is a good day and a good time of year to reflect, and remember. In the northern hemisphere, all the world seems to be dying–leaves falling, wind picking up, clouds rolling in. A time to think about death, loss, absence.

Maybe it sounds depressing. But it is healthy to have a day or two like this on your calendar. And it’s not just about the death of persons we love. It’s also a good day to think about other “deaths” we’ve suffered–the loss of a relationship, or a way of living and being. The loss of a career, or a home. Even the loss of a worldview, or the loss of innocence.

We don’t do this to be morbid, or to have a “pity party.” When we honestly remember and acknowledge who and what has passed from our midst, then we see our present lives in a richer light. Today is a day to be grateful for those who once walked through life with us, and to recall the grief and sadness that follow in their absence. Today can be a day of silence and strength.

Or just a day of silence.

Happy All Souls’ Day.

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This book, by Janis Abrahms Spring, is great for people who have a hard time forgiving someone close to them. She offers a healthy way to deal with the person without forgiving them, either because they are unwilling to reconcile with you, or they have died, or simply because forgiveness is just not something you’re ready to offer at this time. She also walks readers through the process of genuine forgiveness, which is a process that involves both you and the person who harmed you. Bottom line: forgiveness is not the only path. But if you choose forgiveness, you should know that it always takes two.

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I was first introduced to Jane Kenyon’s poetry by a good friend of mine, and I read Ms. Kenyon’s work again when reading Elizabeth Edwards’s memoir. I recommend her poetry, particularly the poem “Otherwise.” Jane Kenyon died of cancer, and her poems written during her illness reveal how she found beauty and meaning in the midst of suffering.

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