Critical feedback: this therapist wants it!
If you’ve ever had counseling, you most likely experienced negative or critical thoughts and feelings about your therapist. I’ve worked with fantastic therapists myself, and even they will strike a wrong note, or just say the wrong thing, in our work together. What to do?
Simple: tell the therapist. If you think I’m taking us into a topic or issue that’s not interesting, not helpful, or just plain irritating, let me know. Hard as I try, I’m not perfect and might take us down a path that just isn’t right. Not only is it okay for you to let me know, it’s actually a fundamental dimension of good therapy. It could even be a breakthrough moment for you: by confronting me with your concern about our work together, you gain experience connecting with another person on a difficult and painful topic. It’s a chance to practice courageous and healthy honesty. It’s good for both of us!
Often enough I can sense that we’re off track, and I’ll beat you to the punch. “Are you mad?” I asked a client a few weeks ago. “Yeah,” she said. “Are you mad at me?” “Yes,” she replied. And the conversation that followed was probably one of the most helpful experiences she had in our work together.
So…let me have it!
