Finding out that I am only human
It has already been more than a week since my operation but I have learned that it takes a while to recover from surgery. I noticed that whenever I sit down, I feel very tired, and if I relax on a bed or sofa, I almost immediately fall asleep. This isn’t like me! I usually have tons of energy and sleep only five or six hours a night, and that’s on a good night. These days, eight hours is not enough. My recent surgery continues to teach me lessons about human frailty, and the need for good rest. I went for a little walk two days after the operation, and in doing so I gained first-hand experience at being just a little bit handicapped: I found myself worrying that the walk light would change before I made it to the other side of the street - that’s never happened to me before. But this is good! It gives me a small taste of what it’s like to be physically disadvantaged, or what it’s like not to be as young as you used to be. In that way, it makes me a better therapist: any setback or challenge will educate someone whose profession is helping people face setbacks and challenges. So… it’s a blessing, this physical adventure of mine. Though I hope to feel 100% as soon as I can, I am grateful for the experience, and hope to learn as much as I can from it. Again, take good care of yourself! Your health is more fragile than you know.
September 29th, 2007 at 12:40 am
How true what you write is. I remember after 2 operations with in 3 months back in the early 90’s I suddenly found myself bed ridden and unable to do the things I wanted to do. I was told after 3 years of Doctors treating me like a nut case that I had CFIDS. They couldn’t tell me how I got it or how to get rid of it, only that I had to learn to live with it. I was bed ridden for 3 years and went through all the stages of a dying person except the last one. Instead of having to accept my death I had to accept the fact that I would probably have this illness for the rest of my life, to date no cure has been found.
17 years later I live with it. The most important thing is that my illness has taught me so much about life and myself. At first I was REALLY ticked off and then I decided I wasn’t going to let my illness win so I started to write and I started to learn and I grew up a lot. I saw how much we take for granted in life and how life as we know it can be taken away in a second. I learned to enjoy all of life and began to see how important even the smallest part of it is.
I can’t say I regret having CFIDS, it has made me a stronger person and first and for most it has taught me to take nothing for granted, to never stop learning about life and myself, and to never shun people with chronic illness.