My favorite metaphor
If you’re a client of mine, you’ll recognize this metaphor. You’ll recall that I’ve used it at least once in our work together. It’s the metaphor of falling off a cliff. Here’s how it works: imagine your life being lived on a large plateau. As you roam the plateau, you encounter green countryside, rivers, patches of desert, rocky wilderness, lush groves of trees. Your life is rich and complex. And on one side of the plateau is a large cliff.
And sometimes you fall off that cliff.
What’s your cliff? Is it a difficulty you have controlling your temper? Or is it the opposite–a difficulty expressing anger? Is it a tendency to give up your life for the sake of others? Or a habit of self-centered behavior? Do you have trouble being authentic and truthful with the people you love? Or are you too blunt and crass for your own good?
Sometimes the cliff people go over is alcohol, or overeating, or anxious worrying. It’s the thing you struggle with that keeps coming back to haunt you, keeps throwing you. I don’t have a hard and fast belief about this, but I tend to think that people usually have only one cliff–or maybe two–in their lives.
I like this metaphor because it allows you to de-personalize your struggle. You have an anger problem? Okay, but if you look at it as your “cliff,” you can make a separation between yourself and your problem, so you can avoid an unhelpful cycle of frustration, defensiveness, and guilt. You can gain insight about your “cliff” and actually do something about it.
What’s the cliff you tend to go over?
