Gay & Lesbian Couples Counseling

GLBT Spoken Here!

If you and your partner happen to be members of the same gender, you’ll feel right at home in my office.

I have nearly ten years of experience working with couples who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.

I am aware of the many cultural pressures gay couples face.

Here are just a few issues I’ve worked on with gay/lesbian/bi/transgender couples:

One of us is out to family and friends, the other is not
One of us is more comfortable being out
Our relationship is affected by the history of shame one or both of us has experienced
We have problems with sex that we can’t talk about with anyone else
We have problems with cheating, or fears that it might happen
We feel bored or uninterested in each other, even though we love each other
We’re having a hard time living together and worry we moved in too fast
We just can’t communicate anymore, and don’t know what to do

You might have noticed that many of these issues are common for all couples, of all orientations. But sometimes these issues are experienced differently by gay couples. For example, anyone can bring to a relationship a history of shame: maybe they had an abusive parent, or for some other reason were taught to be ashamed of their body, or their sexuality.

But GLBT couples might be dealing with shame that has been culturally accepted, or even encouraged. Homophobia (I think) is slowly becoming less and less acceptable in our culture, but it still can have a painful impact, and lots of GLBT persons grew up in communities that approved of hateful anti-gay attitudes. I help gay/lesbian/bi/transgender couples overcome the pain of their backgrounds and improve their relationship in the here and now.

Do You Just Work with Gay or Lesbian Couples on Couple Issues? What if I’m Single?

I work with many GLBT individuals who are trying to take the next step in their lives, whether it’s coming out to self, coming out to family, dealing with being single, looking for a new relationship, wanting more from their partner, changing careers, or dealing with grief and loss. Think of it this way: it’s all about relationships: how you relate to yourself, your family, your partner, potential partners, co-workers…I help you make the relationships in your life more satisfying and fulfilling.

What if I’m Gay or Lesbian and Still Not OK with It?

I’ve worked with many gay and lesbian clients on their coming out process, and I’ve often seen that the first (and sometimes hardest) step is coming out to yourself—accepting more deeply who you really are. Whether you’re just beginning your coming-out journey, or you’re a veteran who’s been out and proud for more years than you care to admit, deepening your acceptance of who you are is a lifelong process. I meet and accept my gay, lesbian, bi, transgender clients wherever they happen to be, and help them decide where they want to go next.

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